I had to quit smoking!!

Cigarettes of course. I'm completely lost on what the hell is going to happen yesterday I ate and some how managed to loose thank both God and Ana! Today its about two here in Louisiana and I've simply locked myself in my room since the moment I woke up. I skipped out on medication in hopes that I'll loose some. Also the fact that my step douche who cheated on my mom with 4 women during their 11 year marriage is back and being a tattle tale. He told my mom I smoke there fore she is on my ass 100% of the time. The good thing about her slave being home is that I now have a great excuse not to eat. My rule is if he buys it or prepares it I won't touch it just because I don't want to get scum bag germs on me. It help's that he will purposely dish up everybody some food and then take all the left overs and put them on his. Forcing me to starve which is exactly what I want to starve and die. I've been taking a lot of sleeping medications so not to be tempted. But other people have also been taking my meds and now I have one left which pissed me off what am I going to do? stick a needle through my tongue for kicks and hope that it hurts bad enough. I need some tips quick on how to keep myself under control. I think I'm going to go back to looking at it five pounds at a time and hope to god it helps more because every time I do look at it with baby steps I get closer and closer to thing loves. Remember I read every comment that's left and sometimes I reply. So thank you so much! Feel free to post questions and I will do my best to answer.

FUCKED ROYALLY <3 Samantha