Not as thin as I would like to be but I have missed blogging soo much. It felt like I lost a child, and with that semi-death comes less motivation to be perfect. Now I have nor gained,or lost any weight. This morning I was 125 something I can't quite remember but it's definitely better than the 139 I was not too long ago. Today I did fast, I also took some pills that make the water you retain go away. Recently I've been adding to my bad habits (not food) but I am a cigarette smoker in secret which is terrible.. Although I have stopped smoking weed, and spice which has helped the weight loss oh so much! But we'll see how long that lasts. I was going to break my fast and then my mom offered to buy me a laptop, and immediately I thought of you guys and how terrible it would feel to disappoint you any more than I already have. So today my followers were my thinspiration, tomorrow I am going to try to hold this fast, I'll take some more laxatives and hopefully make myself sick. I feel quite terrible saying that but you know, what has to happen simply has to happen. I have so many things I would love to tell you now but I think they should wait a bit just so I don't jinx myself. Anyway as today is Friday night, and I am alone which seems to be happening more and more frequently.. I'm going to read Ana/Mia blogs and try my hardest to stay motivated not to eat. I know the key is to simply keep my mouth shut and I will succeed, I will disappear into myself, I am a magician and Ana is my main attraction. I feel like I should tell you girls, and boys that failure is never an option in life if you would like to be worth anything. It is not okay to coddle your self when you fail. I will not, and I will not allow that from anybody surrounding me! Now for a little bit more inspiration I have some wonderful quotes for you.
#1. "There is a difference between what a person wants and what's good for them."
By this I mean, you may want food but it is not a necessity unless you act foolishly, and conform to the
lies we've all been raised to believe are true. Go watch videos on YouTube.com, and type in 20, or 40
day fasts. You'll see how euphoric it makes these people. Most of which are on spiritual fasts,
and are not fasting because of Ana. These people are fasting for spiritual enlightenment, and that's
something we could all use.
#2. "Food is a luxury, we cannot allow ourselves to become gluttonous and fat!"
I wish this quote had fallen from my brain, but as soon as I read it.. I felt the impact, and oh what an
impact this has made.
#3. "You have come too far to take orders from a cookie!"
Honesty I just love this because reading this is empowering in many ways.
- I collected these quotes from books, and an Ana buddy. There are many more to come, I suppose this
means more to me than I could have ever imagined! Because I spend my life collecting things to better it.
On another side note, I have a cell phone now. So if you ever need motivation, or somebody to listen, shoot me an email and I'll do my best to see what we can do to fix that! sam.bell1@live.com
XOXO I've missed my kids <3 Samantha..
heres another qoute
ReplyDeletedont believe the thing you tell yourself late at night, you are your own worst enemy - meaning late at when you get the urge to eat and you say its just a bite. wrong that bite turns into a binge and for everyday you binge is a week longer until you reach you ugw