I really didn't want to face you guys.. 122.0

I fucked up, and ate some cookie dough yesterday and then a lean cuisine. Even though i worked out for two hours yesterday it wasn't enough and I gained almost half a pound.. So until I get to 120lbs I am fasting! I am, because I let my ego get ahead of me and I fucked the progress up!!!!! I was so close to seeing the 120 on the goddamn scale.. So close, but I still have time remember last Friday I said one week. I thought by the progress I was making I would be there before the limit I had made for myself. Wrong, I was hoping to exceed all of our expectations. I'm such a fool I really am! You know I really do not support cutting in anyway because I know the damages from personal experience and the stupid scars just don't go away. But I'm so disappointed in myself fasting and using more lax and exercising just doesn't seem enough anymore.. I am determined enough that there needs to be more of a punishment for the fat whore I am. Oh, I need to run from the fat girl that is still lingering inside of me.. She is trying to regain control and she wont! I hate that fat girl! Things are so much better as long as I'm getting thinner, life get's easier. I've become faster, I can jump higher, my perfectionist side is so vibrant that perfection hits me everywhere. But today I am not thinner and it's because I'm a goddamn disgusting person. I can't let us down, I just, I dunno. I am regaining the control and i will see 120 this weekend.