constipation. 134

My sides are so sore I'm trying so hard to lose weight it's just not working, im not even hungry today. I can't finish my food because everything smells discusting. Not exactly anything wrong with that. I really need to work on losing anyway. My mom gave me some of her diet pills so I can do the duty lol. This sucks, I try and lose weight for my cheer stuff and then I gain it all back. I need this. I hate myself. Sometimes I try and act like I don't have an E.D. but I do. Every time I eat I want to hurt myself. I am so sick of being fat. SO I heard that this rolling pin thing makes cellulite go away and that sounds cool so I'm going to try that along with plastic wrap around my problem areas and see if it works. I'm curious to see. I'm also adding cotton balls into my regular regimen because those have always worked. I decided that while the Ritilin works with focus, my mind is always focused on food and so I eat because I am always focused on it. My mind is better on its own when i can be in control. Did I ever explain to you how my mind is divided? Into three parts, three people. I can't explain it never mind, but if any of you happen to understand then please let me know. I'm very happy today even though it may not seem like it. I'm sorry for my lack of posting but I'm not to motivated.

<3 Samantha