fat day

Look I am in a very self concious mood. I have no friends to be with right now so fasting is made pretty easy i had some starbucks and 3 slices of  honey ham. 3 is my number ha if you didnt notice. Anyway i feel sick right now, which I'm not okay with. I look like a fucking oompa loompa.  I am just a hot mess which is really bad. Im realizing just how fat I really am I'm just disgusting. Today's calorie count is 390+60=450.. Im done for the day I  hate myself. I really do hate myself Im lonley and I feel like i need to get high but honestly I dont because all i do is uncontrolably eat. So I guess being in controll is what I need. I have a huge fucking headache. So I guess i'm going to lay up here and watch tv and go to bed at 11:26 am. on a saturday.. What a fail.. Its been a few hours since I had that starbucks fuck I want to throw up.. But I want to sleep through  the weekend first I need to go check my weight. I have jeans and a jacket on too lol my fat ass is back to 134.4 told you i was fat! gah im only eating black coffee and chicken broth now. im also staying home for a good week.